How to Focus on Ourselves When Life Feels Messy RN
Life comes with different versions of one’s persona; sometimes everything looks excellent, other times they just doesn’t feel great or it seems something is missing in life. Once a person puts all their energies into challenging relationships (such as physical health or career) but still feels unfulfilled, then its time to refocus on oneself.
A person well aware of their self-growth is important. Before we start on tips for focusing on oneself, understand why and what things are necessary to focus on personal character growth because without reflecting on we actually want, these strategies might not help at all, explains licensed mental health counsellor Rachel Gersten, cofounder of New York City-based Viva Wellness.
One small step at a time can be the key “Sometimes when we set out to better ourselves we tend to want to do everything at once,” explains licensed mental health counselor and popular TikTok therapist Micheline Maalouf. “Oftentimes, this can overwhelm and lead to giving up on ourselves.” Keep it simple and easy to follow the track, everything needs time.
It’s not that difficult to start new things which help realize one’s true worth. Here are given 10 therapist-recommended tips for focusing on one’s persona in a way that will lead to positive changes in life.
1. Reflect on what is actually desired
One can start by setting a base to a more joyful life. Those baby steps such as taking a walk, talking to a friend or finding a journal can lead one’s mind about what they want and need at this very moment. One of the therapists, Gersten, explains that once a person must identify where he wants to go, the area of improvement should be acknowledged. It could be related to a relationship, career, or general health where there’s anything to be improved in one of those areas.
According to Gersten, if those aspects of one’s life all feel pretty good and one couldn’t find any gap, just refocus on the bigger picture. One should ask himself questions such as ‘when am I the happiest?’ and ‘Do I need to reach my original self?’ or ‘when do I feel the most pernicious? That way one can take a path to either get more or less of something in life,” explains Gersten.
2. Start by making small, sustainable changes
Always start with an easy small step. This process is a marathon, not a sprint. The individual should figure out what he wants to work on and create small goals to set himself up for success.
Let’s say someone decides they want to work out more as a way to focus on themselves. If they’re not usually super active, then maybe don’t commit to doing hour long HIIT classes six days a week right away. That probably won’t end well. Instead, create a smaller goal such as walking for 20 minutes a few days a week to set themselves up for success, says Gersten.
3. Let go of things
When life seems a mess, it often comes down to a lot of things around us that aren’t going the way they are supposed to. Figure out where exactly it all seems to have went wrong at that moment. Sit down and write down everything that’s been bothering one’s peace of mind. This allows them to get a good look at their messy life.
By doing this one can clearly see that a lot of the things that seem to make life a mess are completely out of their control. The next step is to underline all of the out of control things on the list and let go of them. It’s okay to have a lot of these out of control things on the list, everyone has them at a certain point in their life. To make progress in life one should focus on things that can be solved.
4. Lean on a support system
Studies have shown that leaning on our friends and family makes it easier to cope with life. Don’t hideaway. Reach out to a friend or someone who can listen while one is working through their hard times.
According to Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “Relationships can buffer us from the negative effects of these events by providing comfort, reassurance, or acceptance, or protecting us from some of the negative forces of the stressor.”
The support from our relationships helps us to flourish. It improves our emotional state, acceptance of ourselves, gives us motivation to overcome adversity and strives toward our goals.
5. Don’t Compare Directly with Others
Remember one thing; no one can tell a person how to handle an event or situation in their life except themselves.
Comparing oneself to others is natural human behavior, but if one is falling into comparison constantly that can affect life negatively. If these social media hashtag ‘too good to be true’ life trends are bothering a person’s mental peace, one should just unfollow them.
6. Accept the Facts
Always find a way to work with what one has. Don’t add any unnecessary complications to an already messy situation.
There’s no point in feeling bad about feeling bad, says Kathleen Dahlen, a psychotherapist based in San Francisco. She says accepting negative feelings is an important habit called “emotional fluency,” which means experiencing one’s emotions “without judgment or attachment.”
This allows individuals to learn from difficult situations and emotions, use them or move on from them more easily.
When it comes to self-growth one can make small steps to achieve a certain level of mental peace. Start taking care of oneself, find a new hobby and avoid toxic people. Connect with people who have similar goals and seek out a psychotherapist. Understand that everything happens for a reason. Enjoy the journey and learn from every moment of it, no matter how long it takes to get to one’s destination.